Day 10 of Recovery

This has been the longest, most drawn-out, most patience-testing, laziest, cuddliest, child-bondingest 10 days of my life. Odd combo, I know. Charlotte hasn't been too receptive to fluids this whole time and for the majority of the days I have been spoon-feeding her most of her liquids. The goal everyday has been 32 ounces. Ha! I laugh at the unattainability of that challenge. I think the most she's taken in has been 30 ounces. 30 spoon-fed ouncesm that is. I swear, the fluid seems to multiply when it's fed on a spoon.

Yes, I've tried the bottle, a straw cup, a regular cup, and even an eye-dropper. She doesn't want anything to do with those methods. I'm actually starting to wonder if this is where she goes off the bottle completely. Dear God, if that's the case then please have her choose the straw cup as her vessel of choice. Anything but the spoon!

I can tell she's still in a bit of pain, and the aversion to drinking reflects that. HOWEVER ..... her desire to eat 2-3 pizza crusts tonight, WITHOUT GAGGING, leads me to think that she's pulling some kind of "2-year old I'm not gonna do want I don't want to do" crap. Don't get me wrong, I'm thrilled that she all of sudden wants to eat stuff that she couldn't eat a few weeks ago, chew it like she's been chewing all of her life, and then swallow it down with no problems. I'm just wondering what's going to be our "normal" when we get "back to normal"? Is this where she becomes like other 2-year olds and eats a normal amount of food and I can take her off the super-expensive, high-calorie formula? That would be nice.

For the 1st 3 days she was home a home nurse came by and gave Char IV fluids to help keep her hydrated. That took a lot of the pressure off of my shoulders and I didn't have to be such a nazi about pushing the water. I even got the chance to flush out her IV with some saline and heparin after the IV was done. I had so much fun doing it! Sounds like I have definitely picked the right career path. Otherwise, Charlotte and I have been reading books, playing quietly with her toys, doing lots of snuggling and lots of watching Elmo in Grouchland. I think it would be less painful for me to stick a fork in my eye than watch that movie again. However, I will probably be faced with that choice again tomorrow and will most likely go with the latter.

10 days at home with my daughter has been trying, but AMAZING. We have never snuggled, cuddled and bonded like this before. One thing that's always kind of bugged me is that I don't always feel like "mom". I'm a physical therapist, speech therapist, feeding therapist, occupational therapist, nutritionist, teacher, nurse, doctor, personal assistant, chauffeur, but not mom. These past 10 days I got to be mom. We haven't been working on anything, but her resting and getting her strength back. And that's been nice. At first when we scheduled the surgery I sarcastically thought to myself, "Oh, what a great way to end my already crappy summer". But, now as I'm only a little over a week away from starting nursing school, I realize what a great opportunity this was to spend an ungodly amount of quality time with my daughter. I sure do love that Peanut.